Turning Privilege into Allyship
In the last few decades lots of social movements have made significant progress in obtaining more rights and equality for minorities. The Civil Rights movement in the US was a major step towards racial equality and victories such as the legalization of same sex marriage in many countries are a step towards the LGBTQ+ community receiving their deserved and equal rights. While there have been many advancements in the past, there are still a significant amount of lagging policies and beliefs in the present, such as the gender wage gap, discrimination, exclusion and bigotry to name a few. In order to keep the progress made in the past, it is necessary that a new agent also step into the mix. While the movements previously mentioned were led by minorities, a new wave of supporters is coming from the other side: those who have privileged identities.
You may have heard of the term “allyship”, but what does it mean exactly? An ‘ally’ is someone who has privilege and also chooses to stand for and with marginalized communities by taking tangible, ongoing actions to dismantle systems of oppression. There is a common misconception that if someone who holds privilege is not directly contributing to oppression through discrimination and such, then this person isn’t a part of the broader problem. But this concept is struck down by a famous quote by Martin Luther King, Jr., one of the leaders of the previously mentioned Civil Rights Movement (and someone I share a birthday with). “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.” In other words, it is not sufficient to just not be a racist or sexist, because if you idly stand by while those less privileged than yourself are oppressed, you are on the side of the oppressor. That is why being an ally is someone who takes action to help out marginalized communities, because they recognize how their privilege can be used to benefit others.
But how does one become an ally? That is definitely something I asked myself more than once. As a straight white male I don’t generally experience discrimination in my life and this did make it harder to understand what others go through on a daily basis. I wouldn’t realize that my appearance would often play to my advantage and I didn’t realize this because I thought it was the norm. By hearing stories of others who don’t have the same privilege, I started to notice that not everyone is treated the same and this is unfair. Recognizing your privilege is a first step, but what can you do with that? There are quite a few concrete steps to take to become an ally to others:
Listening
Listening to what marginalized people are saying is a great way to change your worldview. What you thought was normal could be turned upside down and hearing others' stories of their lived experiences and hardships makes you more aware of the reality that others experience. Whether face-to face, on your social media feed or in the articles you read, it's good to broaden your worldview by listening and learning about others. It’s not about you, your feelings or opinions; it’s about hearing and trying to understand theirs. While you may try to identify with what others are saying, sometimes it's best to just listen in order to truly understand what’s going on in the world and develop greater empathy.
Get educated
Seek out books, articles, films, etc. about the history and current issues facing marginalized communities, and attend formal anti-oppression training. When you do talk to others about the obstacles they’ve faced, start by requesting their permission. If it’s granted, approach with humility and a learning mindset. Good questions include:
I’m curious about the things women/people of color/women of color in this organization find most challenging day-to-day—things that I might not notice. Would you feel comfortable sharing some of what you encounter?
If there was one thing you wish your white male colleagues would do more of to improve the experience of women/people of color/women of color, what would it be?
If there was one thing we could stop doing every day, what would it be?
If you were giving me advice on how to really show up as a colleague to make the workplace fair and welcoming, what would you say?
Get involved
Join local groups working for social justice, inclusion, and equity. Subscribe to their email lists, follow them on social media and show up to support their work. Attending events that these local organisations put on is a great way to show support. There you can also meet even more people from different walks of life and learn from them. Starting by helping in your local community is a great first step to supporting those around you. When someone from a marginalized community invites you to an event, go – be there to listen, learn and show your support. Donating money to organisations doing important work is yet another way that allies can contribute.
Speak up or Intervene
When a friend, family member, co-worker or stranger says something hateful or ignorant, call them out on it. Silence allows oppression to continue. This is one of the simplest ways to show that ignorance and dicrimination is not okay. It might be difficult to call out a family member or friend on an offensive “joke” they made, but telling them that it is not okay to make such remarks is perhaps setting them on their own path of becoming an ally or at least educating them on their misinformation or ignorance. When you witness discrimination, don’t approach the victim later to offer sympathy. Give them your support at the moment. Even if there’s no one around to see your action, it is important to speak up to show that you will not stand by and let hurtful actions continue. If someone is being targeted – physically or verbally – intervene only with their permission. Focus on supporting them rather than engaging the aggressor.
Welcome discomfort
When you encounter something that makes you uncomfortable, don’t dismiss it. Sit with it, ask yourself ‘why?’ and welcome it as an opportunity to grow. If someone using “they/them” pronouns seems unusual to you, think about why it does and try to see why it is important for someone else even if it is not important for you. You will make mistakes and when someone calls you out, don’t get defensive. Listen, apologize and change your behavior going forward. After all, making mistakes is a part of learning. Even when the work gets difficult, stay engaged. Oppression is constant, and marginalized people do not have the privilege of “turning off”.
Own your privilege.
Being an ally requires recognizing the advantages, opportunities, resources, and power you’ve automatically been accorded based on your dominant identities, while others have been overtly or subtly denied them. This can be painful because it often means admitting that you haven’t entirely earned your success. But it’s necessary. It’s also important to understand that privilege is a resource that can be deployed for good.
People with dominant identities, such as men, straight folks, and majority race folks are also far less likely to have to code-switch—adjust their style of speech, appearance, and behaviour to fit into a particular culture and increase their chances of being hired, accepted, or promoted. This is extra work that takes an emotional toll as some find themselves constantly trying to be aware of their mannerisms to ensure that they don’t portray themselves or the people they represent negatively. Being more accepting of others' speech, appearance and behaviour helps them feel more comfortable and therefore less necessary to code-switch.
Additionally, by owning your privilege you can help others be seen and heard. If you hear a good idea from someone who does not typically speak up, or witness good work from someone who is not typically visible, be doubly sure that others hear it, know about it, and give credit where credit is due.
Bring diversity to the table.
Women, people of marginalised racial identities, queer folks, and many others are often the “only” in the room, a scenario that can spur feelings of being an imposter and an outsider. Allies can combat this by inviting more colleagues from marginalized groups to gatherings. When meetings are set up, they ask, “Whose perspective are we missing?” When they notice they’re in a room in which everyone looks like them, they say, “Should we ask others to join? Are we including their work and expertise?”
Especially if you have positional authority or status, you should use a “pull” approach: In meetings, ask very specific questions of people whose contributions and expertise are often overlooked or devalued, so that those who often take up the most space can’t hog the floor. It also helps to “decenter” yourself. In societies where racism and sexism abound, the attention in a space will often naturally go to white or racial majority men. Allies learn to step out of the spotlight by, for example, asking a woman of color to lead a meeting or recommending that a person from an underrepresented group take their place in a high-visibility position or event.
All in all, the fight against discrimination and oppression of marginalized groups is still ongoing and doesn’t seem to be going away in the near future. But that just means that we need more people to contribute to this cause so everyone has equal opportunities in all aspects of life. Seeking to be an ally is an ongoing journey, and everything mentioned simply represents a starting point.
Coming to college has set me on my own path to becoming an ally. Being surrounded by people with different identities and privileges than my own, I have been exposed to new worldviews by hearing about how others relate to the world. This led me to learning from my peers, online resources, as well as my college's workshops on diversity and inclusion that were held during the orientation period. The most rewarding aspect of it all has been the fact that I have met and connected with even more people than I thought possible from different backgrounds and identities, taking influence from them to reflect on my own life and understand my own identity better.